It's a Zombie Thing - You Wouldn't Understand

You know how promos for tv shows frequently hype, "DON'T MISS THE LAST FIVE MINUTES"?  I didn't see any iZombie promos for this week, so I don't know if they did that, but they definitely wouldn't have been lying.  But let's start at the beginning.

Oh wait, before we do that, did everyone see the exciting news that we're getting a second season?  Yay!

OK, so we start this week with Liv in bed and . . . happy.  Let's go with happy.  Lots of "yes" and "that's the ticket" and a safe word joke are meant to set us up to believe Liv and Lowell are enjoying some private time (how many euphemisms will I employ before the end of this recap?), but really Lowell is giving her a foot massage.  (Based on their states of undress and Liv's monologue, private time happened before this.)  Liv has been so afraid to have any physical contact with anyone since zombifying that the foot massage may actually be more satisfying than the private time.

Liv's phone rings in the middle of her happy ending.  It's Major.  Now, WE know Major is in jail and has probably been beaten to a pulp, but Liv doesn't, so she tries to be mature and moving on and closure and caught up in the moment and what not and doesn't answer.

Later on, Liv is driving to work.  (The unsafe bike riding didn't last?  What a pity.)  She's excited to finally have something she enjoyed in her pre-zombie life (sex) be available to her again.  In fact (even pre-brain eating), she’s a little obsessed about it.  She sees an ad for a morning talk show about sex and immediately tunes in.

As Liv listens, "Cheated on in Chattanooga," a woman with an extreme southern accent, calls in to say that she caught her husband cheating.  The host tells the woman to cut him loose, but the caller does that sad thing where she's staying with the cheater, but wants to go after the cheetee.  As in actually threatens to murder the woman.  She says she got a license plate for the woman and starts to recite it on air.  The call gets cut off, but the host says they need to talk and the caller should call back in.  By this time, Liv is in the lab listening to the show over the internet.  Again, pre-brains.  Not that I'm judging.

Ravi is at the police station trying to bail out Major.  He's not really getting anywhere.  In storms Hurricane Roomie Peyton in full-on Lawyer mode, even though she's technically the one prosecuting him.  Ravi is obviously impressed with (and possibly enchanted by) her lawyer-fu.  Once Major (and his yet again beaten bloody face) appear, Ravi and Roomie Peyton realize they're there for the same person.

After a break for the credits, introductions are made all around.  Ravi and Roomie Peyton have their first bonding moment when they both agree that Major calling Liv was a terrible idea.  Major knows his attack was retaliation by the police for the newspaper article from last week, but he isn't interested in pushing that issue.  He just wants to know what happened to Jerome and Eddie.  Awkward silence as Ravi and Roomie Peyton realize he hasn't heard about the bodies found at the cult house last week.  Ravi has to break the news.  After everything that happened to him last week, Major is skeptical that things are really that "simple."  He tries to explain that to Ravi and Roomie Peyton, but basically just comes off sounding like a paranoid guy who is off his meds.

Liv is working in the morgue when Ravi gets in a bit late, explaining that he had to do something for "a friend."  Liv is way more interested (again, pre-brains) in listening to the radio show uninterrupted.  But just as the host (Sasha) goes to answer another call, there is some serious feedback, followed by yelling, and then they lose audio.  Neither Liv nor Ravi knows what to make of it, but Ravi at least finds the situation more interesting now.

Our favorite MEs are now at the radio station examining the host's corpse for cause of death.  When she touched her phone, she was electrocuted.  Detective Clive enters to explain that this wasn't an accident – the host's phone was purposefully spliced in such a way as to cause her execution.  He also says that "Cheated On" is the current forerunner in the suspect race - the license plate she started to give on the show this morning actually corresponds to the victim’s car.

Liv and Clive talk to Jane, who was Sasha’s producer.  Cheated on in Chattanooga had called a dozen times in the previous weeks.  Jane also knows from the caller id that despite her name, Cheated On is actually a local caller.  Jane offers the show’s audiotapes, but says that since they don’t archive by caller, someone will have to listen to all of the recordings to find Cheated On’s segments.  Liv eagerly volunteers.

Next they talk to Kaylee, a production assistant.  She mentions that Sasha tended to frequently hook up with men who were already in relationships and leads them to the engineering room, where the sabotage occurred.  Unfortunately, it’s in a fairly high traffic, low security area, so anyone could have accessed it.

Back at the morgue, Liv is having Sasha’s brain for lunch when Ravi mentions meeting Peyton.  He questions a clueless Liv about whether her roommate is seeing anyone.  Once Liv finally catches up with the conversation, she quickly changes the subject to the supply closet where they are conducting their zombie rat experiment.  Ravi goes to check on said experiment and finds the carnage we saw at the end of the last episode.  Liv finds the zombie rat and starts getting maternal again, despite Ravi warning about the rat’s potentially apocalyptic nature.  They secure him, and Ravi explains how he’s hoping to develop the cure.

Detective Clive comes in with a new suspect.  Sasha had an ongoing feud with another radio host, Chuck Bird.  Liv and Detective Clive go to question him.

Chuck Bird is your typical misogynistic shock jock dumbass.  He explains that he and Sasha manufactured the feud to drive up ratings and that he is in fact happily married.  Liv has her first Sasha flashback to a woman yelling at her to “stay away from my husband.”  She confronts Chuck, asking if his wife was mad enough about Sasha and Chuck having an affair to kill Sasha over it.  This red herring doesn’t last long, as his bride is foreign and doesn’t speak English well enough to fake Cheated On’s southern accent.  Chuck also has an alibi, as he was on air at the time of the murder.

Speaking of quickly dispensing with dangling plot threads, Korin (remember her?) stomps into Major’s place to yell at him for missing their lunch date.  She sees his face and that he is looking up pictures of brains on the internet and decides she’s had enough.  She breaks up with him, brushing by Ravi on her way out.

Captain Secret Zombie and Zombie Uncle Snark Daddy meet up in an abandoned warehouse.  Captain Secret Zombie tries to get out of whatever arrangement the two of them have, saying that moving the kids’ bodies to the cult house last week was just too much.  ZUSD basically laughs off Captain Secret Zombie, knowing that he doesn’t have any other options.  Captain Secret Zombie also tries to tells ZUSD about Liv, but ZUSD explains that he already knows and that Liv has her own “special role” in things.  Make of that what you will.

Liv is listening to Sasha’s show and has a flashback to Sasha yelling and throwing food at a very apologetic Jane.  She and Detective Clive seek out Jane, who explains that the two were cohosts in college, but eventually their relationship evolved to its most recent host-producer iteration.  Jane still wanted to be on air, though, so she had sent some tapes to other stations.  Sasha found out and was angry.  According to Jane, they got past it and Sasha actually advocated for Jane to get a raise to keep her.

At the morgue, Ravi shows Liv the oyster shucking gloves he’s using as protection against the zombie rat.  She asks about Major since she hasn’t heard from him since the missed phone call.  Ravi tells her about the break-up, but something doesn’t add up to Liv.  He in turn asks Liv about Roomie Peyton.  She tries (in full annoying relationship radio host mode) to discourage him, but without success.

And speaking of bad ideas, Liv goes to Major’s place to check on him.  She freaks out when she sees his battered face, and then again when he explains that the arrest got him fired.  Beaten up twice, jailed, dumped, and fired – Major is taking this downward spiral to new lows. 

He pleads with Liv that he needs someone to believe him, and he hopes it will be her.  He then tells her all about Julian Dupont and the brain in the ice chest.  If Liv weren’t a zombie, she would pale visibly as soon as she realizes how much Major knows.  As is, she just looks incredibly nauseous.  She lies that she thinks he is holding on to the case because it’s his last tie to Jerome and then truthfully pleads with him to stay away from it.  He agrees to her face, but is right back to googling “human brains” as soon as she leaves.

The conversation with Major, combined with the “relationship and sex expert” brain rattling around in her head, has Liv freaking out about her current relationship.  She worries that she and Lowell have nothing in common and are only together because they are both zombies.  I think the non-sexual evening of fun they had when Lowell ate that gay brain would say otherwise, but Liv’s not really in a rational place at the moment.  Also in the positives column?  The fact that Lowell immediately recognizes that Liv’s conniption fit is due to her most recent meal.  They wind up back in bed so that Liv can flash to Sasha having sex with someone named Sam.

When Liv comes home in the morning, Roomie Peyton calls her out on being out all night and asks who the new guy is.  This gives Liv an opening to finally ask if Roomie Peyton is seeing anyone.  She has numerous available options, but isn’t excited about any of them.

At the morgue, Ravi again asks about Peyton.  Liv spells it out – she thinks Peyton is out of Ravi’s league.  She’s used to being pursued by “guys you'd find in a ‘most eligible bachelors on the planet’ catalog, if such a thing existed.”  Ouch.  Ravi deflects with humor at first, but eventually tells Liv that this brain is making her “a bit of an ass.”

Liv is listening to more tapes of Sasha’s show to avoid the awkwardness with Ravi.  A commercial comes on featuring a woman who sounds exactly like Cheated on in Chattanooga.  She and Detective Clive go back to the radio station to find out who recorded the commercial.  Jane is preparing a “memorial” broadcast for Sasha, but explains that the voice on the recording is actually Kaylee.  Normally the staff records a mock-up and then professional voice talent records the final product, but Kaylee’s southern accent was so charming that the client elected to keep her.

It’s Kaylee’s day off, so Liv and Detective Clive go to her house to question her.  She was out on a coffee run during the murder, but heard the interrupted broadcast and turned around to go back to the station, so she doesn’t have a receipt or anyone who saw her to provide an alibi. 

Just then, her significant other comes back to the house.  Liv recognizes him as “Sam” from her sex vision.  Poor Kaylee has a motive and no alibi, so she is under arrest.

During questioning at the station, Kaylee admits to being Cheated on in Chattanooga, but swears she’s not responsible for Sasha’s death.  She also explains that she didn’t think anyone would recognize the voice, since the commercial only aired once, over a year ago, before the client went out of business.  She didn’t want to openly confront Sasha because she was afraid of being blackballed “like Jane.” 

Apparently Jane’s little attempt at defection didn’t end on anywhere near the friendly terms that Jane told them about.  Sasha actually made sure that no top radio network would even consider hiring Jane.  And Jane is the one who schedules when the commercials air.  Jane planted the commercial in the recordings, then said they didn’t archive by caller to force Liv to listen to all of the tapes, including commercials.  She was expecting Liv to recognize Cheated On’s voice as part of her plan to set up Kaylee for Sasha’s murder.

With the mystery solved, Liv and Detective Clive head to the radio station to arrest Jane.  She’s in the middle of the memorial broadcast and is getting mercilessly mocked by Sasha’s fans who don’t find her up to par.  Jane sees Liv and Detective Clive and knows the jig is up, so she goes on one last on-air rant about what a bitch Sasha actually was.  Then she’s arrested.

And now, those fateful last five minutes.

Liv’s getting ready to head over to Lowell’s when Roomie Peyton’s cell phone rings.  It’s Ravi (who is already entered into the contacts of a girl he met once).  Liv answers, and reluctantly agrees to get Peyton, but in the end she encourages Peyton to say yes, which she does.

Yay!  Ravi's happy, Roomie Peyton's happy, even Liv seems wary but happy.  

Oh, you didn't expect that to last, did you?

Ravi's been working with zombie rat during his phone call.  He is distracted by all the happiness and stops paying attention for a second.  During which zombie rat bite him, straight through his shucking glove.

NO!!!!!!  We love Ravi.  We love Liv, too, but we don't want poor Ravi zombified!  Especially not right after getting a date with Roomie Peyton!

Next in bad decisions, Major buys a gun out of a guy's trunk.

The next morning, Liv is at Lowell's.  He's playing guitar; she grabs a bite of brain from the egg scramble he's making.  Liv, being unaware of either the Ravi or Major situations, is happy happy happy.  She gets on the elevator, continuing to be happy.

Guess how this ends.

The elevator looks out over the building's parking lot.  Who's strutting in her direction, fresh brain delivery in hand?  Zombie Uncle Snark Daddy.  Just then, the bite of brain triggers a memory.  Of ZUSD trying to calm Jerome after kidnapping him.

Liv is no longer happy.

We cut to black just as the elevator door (presumably with ZUSD on the other side) starts to open.

Here's my theory.  I don't think it's a coincidence that we saw ZUSD shaking up Captain Secret Zombie in the same episode we find out he seems to be Lowell's supplier.  I'm not sure what leverage a random musician could offer ZUSD (his Max Rager connection), but I think we're going to find out that Lowell is somehow being blackmailed by ZUSD.  I couuld be wrong; Lowell has been a little too perfect up until now.  But that's my theory.

See you next week!

Quotes:   

Ravi:  I had some business down at the courthouse and met your roommate Peyton.  Bit of a spitfire, isn't she?

Liv:  Yeah.

Ravi:  Is she seeing anyone presently?

Liv:  Probably.  [PAUSE] You're asking because you might want to ask her out?

Ravi:  For a moment there, I thought I might have to draw you a diagram.

Liv:  Holy crap, Ravi! He's white and murderous.  You did it.  You made a zombie rat!  Where are you going, little buddy?

Ravi:  Uh, I believe he was on his way to murder me and eat my brains.  Why isn't he tearing into you?

Liv:  Oh, it's a zombie thing.  You wouldn't understand.  Zombie brains are nasty.

Liv:  Fun fact of zombie-ism:  knowing you're being affected by the brain you just ate doesn't always stop you from acting on its impulses.

Major:  I can't talk about fight club.  Crap.

Liv:  Ravi, she’s a lawyer who looks like a Victoria’s Secret model.

Ravi:  Liv, I’m a tall doctor with fantastic hair and a British accent.